Its been a couple of difficult months for me. The lose of my Dad, missing my Grandparents, couldn’t get into my website, and physically in pain (due to all my autoimmune problems). Now the website is back on track and I am still having some tough days, but needless to say I have return to the living.
Been really busy with my writing, I believe this has helped in my slow process of grieving. I just hope I can write some more uplifting poems soon. I have injured my left knee and will have to have a MRI done to see what I have torn, but the silver lining of my cloud is that I will have more time to write. On Wednesday I will find out what course of action I will be taking to fix it. The working title for the novel is When it was Me.
I am also getting some reading done. I am currently reading Finding Dorothy by Elizabeth Letts. I am really enjoying it. Its a imaginative novel of the wife of L.Frank Baum, Maud, and the making of the movie The Wizard of Oz.
I first have to apologize for being absent from my website and blogs. In December, I lost my father. He battled for nine and a half years against truly monstrous foe, CANCER! I was able, along with my siblings, to get to my parent’s house to spend his last couple of days with him, before he drifted off to be with my grandparents in Heaven. The pain to watch him be in was hard to bear, but I also would never trade being there for anything. When I first arrived he opened his eyes, looked at me and with a big smile he said “Hi Tish. I love you.”. The rest of the time was in shifts with my sisters and brother during the day and my Mom took the night shift.
He passed on a Wednesday surrounded by my Mom, is kids, and some of his grandkids. As I placed my hand on his leg I could feel the faint pulse against my hand, then in a last breath, he was gone. We checked everything off his list on how he wanted to go, his last request, surrounded by his family at their home, and knowing we would have each other to lean on as well as help Mom.
With his passing, I have been turning to my writing more. For me that will be my therapy for the long rode ahead without my Dad. He was my biggest fan, encouraged my writing from early on, and supported my dreams.
I will miss him everyday for the rest of my life and hopefully I can pass down stories to my children, so that all of our memories will live on.
I have had ups and downs when it comes to writing (& life). I have stared at a blank page wondering what will fill the space and I have written 20+ pages in one sitting, words just flowing right out with ease.
As I start writing my first novel, I have struggled on the direction it is taking (not what I was expecting), or I get sidetracked and poetry comes out instead. Through it all I just keep plugging away. Everyday is different and so is my writing. I will never stop doing this, for it is my dream. So I will enjoy soaring or just sitting perched waiting for the words once again.
As we enter into Thanksgiving this week, I have noticed many neighbors have started putting up Christmas decorations and as well as all the retailers with their Christmas decoration, candy, etc, but I just can’t bring myself to join that “club” (December 1st, to me a better time) of early birds.
Thanksgiving is the last breathe of Fall that I can hold onto. I will miss the cooler temperatures (wearing just a sweater and scarf), the colors of fall (the beauty I am always in awe about), and the pumpkin spice everything (yes I do stockpile!).
Don’t get me wrong I think snow is beautiful as long as it stays on the grass and trees and not on the roads or sidewalks. But, with winter just around the corner so are the plummeting of temperatures, the negative degrees (with the wind chill factor), the slush, and all the layers of clothes, coats, mittens (I can never find), scarves, etc. which of course all contributes to the fact that I get so uncomfortable (walking around like a robot).
So atlas, I will savor every minute of Fall, enjoy my family around the table this Thanksgiving and hope I can find those dang gloves and mittens this year (I know they are around here somewhere).
What is the one thing that changed your life? Whether it was a difficult time or an AH-HA moment, or an amazing reality, change does happen and influences us in our life. I have had those moments throughout my life but no matter what it may be, I found a way to work through or hold on to some of those memories.
I had a recent moment in this regards. Unable to do what I use to do in life, I have found solace in my writing. It has helped me express the pain I deal with daily, help me find the happiness I sometimes forget is there, and help me to expand out of my comfort zone. I have discovered how there is so many more stories and poems inside of me. I found a new excitement I thought I had lost and a passion to be able to share stories from within me. I have branched out to new avenues in my writing, bringing new excitement that has been lacking. I now look forward to taking pen to paper.
I have been working on my novel (When it was Me,). I am in the research phase and developing my characters stage. It is flowing pretty well but I do have one snag. When I am in the middle of a paragraph, I get sidetracked by ideas for a poem. Whether its a word or a feeling, I have to stop and write it in my poem notebook (I can seem to be able to write poetry on the computer. I know weird but it is my process), so I don’t lose it. Looks like I will be working on two books now.
Photography, to me, has always been a part of my creative expression. I look through a camera lens and most of the time I see the world in black & white.
However, sometimes nature comes in and shows me the beauty of color. I stand in its awe for a moment before capturing it on film…I know its digital but to me I shoot as if I have only 36 exposures, so I better get the shot right the first time (I have that love/hate relationship with digital). In that moment the rest of the world keeps going on, except for me.
As I write this, God’s Painting, reminds me there is still so much beauty in the world and as long as you are patient you too can enjoy it, even if only for a few moments.
This is my favorite time of year! Now I do realize that Fall techinally doesn’t start til Sept. 22nd, but once I can get my favorite Pumpkin Spice Latte (Thank you Starbucks!), it is FALL!
Since I started writing, this time of year triggers a lot of my creativity. Words seem to flow smoothly onto the paper, like a trail of leaves blowing around in the air, landing softly onto the ground.
In honor of this time of year I am sharing one of my very first poems I wrote, when my sister asked me to write a rhyming poem…
Look at all these leaves,
Not touching the ground.
Up in the air,
Can’t you see,
They’re waving to me.
So grab your comfy sweater, a PSL, and enjoy Nature’s artwork.
As a poet, a lot of my inspiration and muse comes from some dark places and at times from some bright ones as well. I have been able to express my feelings for others, gotten through heartache, fight through the pain, and even climbed out of some dark, dark places within my mind.
I have always wonder if I had not discovered writing, how would I have gotten through everything? Would I have been more involved in sports, would I have gone to the abyss of drinking, or would I have leaned more on the people who where always there for me? I may never know that answer, but I am ok with that.
I have loved the art form of writing poetry. The beauty of it and the message they hold. Now with 2 books under my belt, it is time to branch out and write my first novel. I will never leave my passion of poetry and will probably have a 3rd poetry book out before my novel, but I am looking forward to all of the excitement of achieving this next project. I can’t wait to dive into research, forming my characters into people you “meet on the street”, even the frustration of re-writes or writer’s block. How can I not get excited for this new adventure of writing!
Many new adventures are coming down the pike and I can’t wait to share it all with you.
Back to School is in full swing and for me, that of course means more writing! I don’t get much writing done during the summer, I love spending that time with my kids, but now it is back to my writing schedule… who am I kidding I don’t have a writing schedule my mind doesn’t work that way. Yet even during those 12 weeks of summer I do occasionally get words on paper, but they don’t form much else.
I am looking forward to my new adventure of creating my first novel! I feel I will be spending a lot of time at the library, my favorite cafe, and throwing ideas at a couple of my very dear friends who encourage me every step of the way.
For now I will savor the last day of summer vacation with my kids, for tomorrow when they get back to school, their work, I will be back to mine.